Pick-Up Women and Increase Your Confidence, Step By Step

Published: 11th May 2007
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I'm shy. I've always been shy. It's something you never grow out of - you just learn how to deal with it, or how to get around it.

And when you're trying to pickup girls, shyness is a "deal killer". So how did a painfully-shy guy, manage to become a successful Pickup Artist? (You can read more about that on my blog at: Jewish Dating Service.)

Well, the first step for us shy guys, is defeating that very problem. I did it, and you can too. The secret is to take things one step at a time. And very small (meaning "easy to do") steps...

Step 0: This is something you need to do, before you actually get started on your "pickup training". And it's simple.

Find a place with lots of women. Lots & lots of women. You want to have a constant supply, and you want to be able to choose the women to approach (later on).

Step 1: Let's say you chose my favorite "training grounds": the mall. Lots of women, shopping, eating, picking up stuff...

Walk through the mall and every time a woman walks by you, smile. Just look her straight in the eye and smile, nothing more. At worst, she'll ignore you; at best, she'll smile back (this one happens very often).

Your purpose here, is just to get comfortable looking them in the eye and making "contact". When smiling feels easy, you're ready to move up a notch.

Step 2: Now, every time a woman comes into range, say "Hi". That's it. Just "Hi".
Keep it simple. Your purpose here, is just to get comfortable say something, anything, to a female stranger.

"Hi" works. And it works well. Most women will smile at you - or even say "Hi" back! When saying "Hi" feels easy, you're ready to move up a notch.

Step 3: Ask for directions. Again, we want to keep things simple. Easy.

Just pretend you're trying to find a store at the other end of the mall. Say to her, "Excuse me. Do you know where the store that sells octopi is?" or "Which way is Fat Burger?"

Your purpose here, is to actually have a Conversation (granted, a very short one), with a female stranger. You'll see that a large majority of women will stop in their tracks, and help you find your "missing" store.

Step 4: Now it's time to have a REAL conversation. Nervous? Don't be. I promised you - small, easy steps. So how do we do that here?

Simple. Start with employees!

Employees HAVE to talk to you. They HAVE to be nice - it's their Job.

So go into every store, walk up to one of the female staff, and start a conversation with her. Just say "Hi", then start with the small talk.

How great/bad the weather is "out there". How great/badly the local baseball, football, hockey, soccer, cricket, whatever; team is doing.

Step 5: Now make the conversation more personal. Still using store staff, start a conversation on something about Her.

How you like her clothes, her purse, her interesting & unique jewelry item. How you like her hairstyle, or the way she did her makeup - and how it fits her "look" really well.

A compliment is NOT a great opening pickup line, by the way. But it IS a great way, to practice talking to women.

Step 6: Same as Step 4, but with random women.

Now you're talking to strangers, by walking up to them and starting a conversation about "small talk" things.

Step 7: Same as Step 5, but with random women.

Now you're talking to strangers, by walking up to them and starting a conversation about "personal" things.

Get the idea? When you perform any of those Steps, a couple dozen times, it gets easy. So easy it's boring! So boring, you can't wait to move up to the next Step.

Once you've reached this point, you're ready to move on to effective pickup techniques, that result in your getting her contact information. But to do that, there's much more you need to know first, about attitude, body language, - and yes, even great pickup lines!

So continue reading the second part of this article on my blog, right now! Jewish Dating Service

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